Adventures in Destiny's island: Barney's Kids
by MyShARoNA88
Summary: Once upon a time, they were 6 very different little kids who grew up in an island. They are stupid, immature and they work for me, My name is Barney. Episode 2 is up!
1. Attack of the Zombie Moogles

Adventures in Destiny's Islands.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts and no one was harmed in this fic. ^^...except for moogles but they were professional stuntmen ^^.  
  
Episode one: The attack of the Zombie Moogles!  
  
Once upon a time, they were ::counts:: 6 different kids, very very different kids who grew up in an island. They are stupid, immature and they work for me. My name is Barney, yes the purple fat, creepy dinosaur in channel 13. I started hiring bodyguards because many creatures are jealous that I have all the fame and fortune. Anyways...let's get back in the story.  
  
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*Sora* = Has a toy wooden sword for a weapon. *Riku* = also has a toy sword. *Kairi* = uses coconuts for her weapon. *Tidus* = uses that red pipe for a weapon. *Wakka* = uses that blitzball for a weapon. *Selphie* = has that lame rope for a weapon.  
  
=======================================================================================  
  
Sora: ::is watching his favorite show Zoom:: C'MON AND ZOOM! C'MON AND ZOOMA ZOOMA ZOOM!!! ::jumps for joy::  
  
Kairi: ::is throwing coconuts at her punching bag:: Where's Selphie?  
  
Sora: Me and Riku locked her up in your punching bag! TEE HEE!  
  
Kairi: O_________O, oh....um, yea, do you have an elixer?  
  
Sora: Um...sure.  
  
Riku: ::walks out of his room into the living room:: Kairi...your punching bag is crying.  
  
Kairi: OH CRAP!   
  
Selphie: ::comes out of the punching bag:: WOW! was I in a very dark roller coaster? ^____^  
  
============================================================In the beach, underwater===  
  
Tidus and Wakka are playing blitzball  
  
Tidus: Isn't it amazing how we can talk and breath underwater?  
  
Wakka: Ya! I know! and the fact that I keep ending my sentences with ya...ya?  
  
Dory (from finding Nemo): Have you seen a fish named NemO?  
  
Tidus: Um......No....::just grilled a talking fish named Nemo a day before::  
  
-Ariel (from the little mermaid) passes by-  
  
Wakka: Wazup mami!  
  
Tidus: OMG! you're hitting on a girl with a tail filled with scales? That is just brilliant!  
  
============================= Back in the hut =============================  
  
Riku: Barney is calling!  
  
All: OK! ::follows Riku::  
  
Riku: I changed the button for our secret base! ::pushes a button located somewhere in an Aerith poster, wink wink::  
  
-Riku's bed then moved to the side of the room where it revealed a door on the floor. Then, they all jumped inside one by one-  
  
Selphie: ::pops out of the hole on the floor and waves at the camera:: Buh-bye!  
  
Kairi: You've been watching too much telletubbies!  
  
============================= In the secret base ===========================  
  
Speaker Box: GOOD MORNING ANGELS!  
  
Sora: Wrong show Charlie!  
  
Charlie: OH CRAP! who's your boss?  
  
Sora: Barney  
  
Charlie: That big, fat annoying dinosaur?  
  
Riku: Yup!  
  
Charlie: I thought he was dead? I sent my angels to kill him and use his skin for carpeting! Agh, oh well...bye!  
  
Barney: Good morning kids!  
  
All: Good morning Barney!  
  
Barney: Sora, were you watching Zoom again?  
  
Sora: Um...yea...  
  
Barney: I told you...watch my show! Zoom is evil! they show kids who teach you scientific stuff and horrible corny jokes!  
  
Sora: But I like it! C'MON AND ZOOMA ZOOMA ZOOMA ZOOM! ::does a chessy grin::  
  
All: O______________O  
  
Selphie: SHADDAP! American idol is on! OH CLAY! he's so dreamy...  
  
Me: ::comes in the fic:: Seriously, what is up with people liking Clay Aiken? ::jumps back out::  
  
Barney: Wow...this is weird, anyways...you guys have a new mission! And no Riku, it doesn't involove Aerith. Last time you had to rescue her, you almost got killed by a bunch of Die hard Aerith fans and a moogle who states he slept with her.  
  
All: ::is twitching::  
  
Barney: Anywho, Martha Stewart is threatening to kill me again. Something about my show getting more ratings than her.  
  
Sora: CAN'T BE!!!!...i mean, that's great!  
  
Barney: Well, Martha has been experimenting with Moogles lately. She takes their hearts and puts the "If you put this on something, it would make it turn into a zombie" Formula. According to my cute little radar, hundreds of zombie moogles are about to attack Destiny's Islands!  
  
Selphie: You...want...me...to...destroy...moogles? ::cries insanely and starts hitting her head against the wall::  
  
Kairi: How much time do we have left?  
  
Barney: 24 hours!  
  
Tidus: That's one week right?  
  
Wakka: No, 2 hours...we gotta prepare! ::runs out of the secret base::  
  
Selphie: NOT MOOGLES...WAHHHH!  
  
Barney: ::is wondering why in the hell he hired these kids instead of the Telletubbies:: Remember kids, I love you! ::giggles::  
  
============================== After 24 hours, everyone is ready =======================  
  
Riku: The moogles will come in...5, 4, 3, 2, 1......................................  
  
============================== After 2 hours ============================================  
  
Riku: .................................................................................  
  
All: ::is taking a nap under a random cocnut tree::  
  
-Then, a whole bunch of zombie moogles comes out of the water and into the beach-  
  
Riku: 0!!!!!  
  
All: ::wakes up::  
  
Selphie: I had a dream that we were playing hopscotch with the moogles!  
  
Sora: ::starts wacking a moogle in the head with his toy sword:: DIE! DIE!  
  
Riku: They're already dead you assmuffin!  
  
Selphie: OH THE MADNESS!!!  
  
Kairi: You have to attack them Selphie!!! ::shoves a whole coconout into a moogle's mouth::  
  
Tidus: They're so ugly! ::Puts make-up on a moogle to make it look pretty::  
  
Wakka: ::is playing monkey in the middle with two moogles::  
  
Selphie: See! now that's more like it!  
  
Sora: Tidus, picture them as two creatures who doesn't care about fashion and beauty in the world!  
  
Tidus: WHY I OUGHTA! ::beats the moogle insanely::  
  
Sora: And Wakka, think of it as a moogle who just slept with Lulu for blueberry muffins!  
  
Wakka: MOTHER...F..::beats the moogle insanely with the ball::  
  
Selphie: ::is strangling a moogle with her rope:: I'M SO SORRY!!!!  
  
Moogles: KUPO KUPO KUPO!!!  
  
======================= After 3 hours of fighting, the kids won because Stupid Selphie waved her rope into the air slicing each and every moogle ======================================  
  
***Back in the Secret Base***  
  
Barney: Good job kids, I love you!  
  
All: Thanks Barney...  
  
Barney: As usual, you're mission is still not accomplished because you still didn't destroy that Evil Martha!  
  
Sora: Where is she anyway?  
  
Barney: She is still filming her show, you could get to her through the T.V. Selphie, go with Kairi and Sora since you killed all the moogles.  
  
Selphie: I would never forgive myself!  
  
Barney: ::comes out of the speaker box and slaps Selphie: Get over it!....I'm sorry, i still love you! Let's sing the Kumbaya song!  
  
-Sora, kairi and Selphie jumped into the T.V. and into the Martha Stewart Show-  
  
Martha: What the Klondike Bar are you kids doing here?  
  
Kairi: We came here to destroy you, you evil woman!  
  
Martha: ::evil laugh:: Never, not if I forget the technique of gardening and the ability to iron silk! ::throws Apple pie on all of them::  
  
Director of the Martha Stewart show: Um, hello! still taping here? do you know how much it costs to tape for just one second? a penny, but that's not the point...  
  
Kairi: Shaddap, the star of your show is evil!  
  
Director: I know she is, I was gonna cast her on my movie "How to lose virginity in 50 years" and she refused. She came to my house and tried to smother me with her hand-made lace pillows.  
  
All: O_________________________O  
  
Martha: That movie had the word "Damn" in it ok! Now, you kids already distroyed my zombie moogles and you are going to pay!................$1,000,000 if you don't mind!  
  
Selphie: We don't have money you evil Cryptkeeper!  
  
Sora: But we do have the urge to destroy you!  
  
All: ::laughs insanely::  
  
Sora: What?  
  
Kairi: Do you know how cheesy that sounds?   
  
Martha: ::Wraps Lace and evergreen ribbon around Sora and Kairi while Selphie manages to get away::  
  
Sora: HELP US SELPHIE!  
  
======================== After 2 hours of fighting, Selphie is covered of cookie dough and rose petals while Martha is dead because Selphie accidentally slits her throat with her hair====================================================================================  
  
***Back in the Base***  
  
Barney: Mission Accomplished Kids...Oh, i'm so happy! Selphie, you were great!  
  
Selphie: Thanks Barney!  
  
Barney: I think we should sing our song!  
  
All: Oh crap...we mean, ok!  
  
I love you, You love me  
  
We're a happy secret agency  
  
With a great big ass kicking and a punch from there to here,  
  
We're gonna save the atmosphere!  
  
Selphie: I still don't get the song, what's atmosphere got to do with it?  
  
Barney: Throw me a freakin bone here ok! i had to find some work that rhymes with here!  
  
Episode 2 coming up! Please review! 


	2. Evil Teletubbies

Adventures in Destiny's Island  
  
All: ::is staring at me::  
  
Me: ::IS wondering why "all" people are staring at me::  
  
Lawyer: You stupid assmuffin! it's Destiny Islands.  
  
Me: ::hits the lawyer in the back of the head with a baseball bat:: Well, I changed it because they only show one island in the game and it sounds better. And yeaa, I need a new lawyer.  
  
Episode 2: The Evil alien looking Creatures, Telletubbies  
  
=========================================================================================  
  
Once upon a time, they were 3 bears. The mama bear, the papa....  
  
Me: Wrong story Barney!  
  
Barney: Oh, I am dearly sorry, do you forgive me?  
  
Me: Um....sure.  
  
Barney: Oh i'm glad. Remember kids, forgiveness is the key to make many friends and keep them! -cheesy smile- anyways...  
  
Once upon a time, there were 6 different little kids who grew up in an island. They are stupid, immature and they work for me. My name is Barney. Oh boy! this is gonna be a fun day!  
  
=========================================================================================  
  
Barney: Good Morning Kids!  
  
All: Good morning Barney!  
  
Riku: ::is in his room making weird noises which everyone could hear::  
  
All: O_______________________________O  
  
Sora: Damn, I knew we should've got sound-proof walls.  
  
Barney: Well...this is extremely uncomfortable. Anyways, We have a situation kids. The Telletubbies have been causing trouble lately.   
  
Selphie: OH NO!!! TRENYCE JUST GOT VOTED OFF AMERICAN IDOL! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Barney: TURN OFF THE T.V. NOW! YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY. If you think i'm purple now...watch when I'm mad. It's not a pretty picture. I turn black and then I get the urge to steal my Mom's lipstick and write "Redrum" on the wall.   
  
All: O______________________O...::gulp::  
  
Barney: Anywho, the Telletubbies added a certain lens on their eyes which has the ability to hypnotize people. It is your job to find those lenses and destroy them for good. The people who were hypnotized are always glued to the T.V. whenever their show is on. In addition, the people also buy Telletubbies products. It's like they got addicted to it. Now who in the hell would be addicted to Telletubbies?   
  
Selphie: ::is looking around and whistling innocently::  
  
Barney: O_o...anyways. Tommorow Morning, you will all be sent to the PBS station which is where you would have to find those lenses. OMG! I REALLY LOVE ALL OF YOU!  
  
============================== Later that Day =============================================  
  
Everyone is at the Seaside Shack just hanging out...  
  
Sora: Do you guys know what's odd?  
  
Kairi: That you always cry at night because you think you're gonna die a virgin?  
  
Sora: O_o...NO!  
  
Kairi: Or the fact that you paid that woman in Traverse Town because you thought she was a hooker?  
  
Sora: O_____o...NO!  
  
Kairi: Or the fact that your room is filled with Zoom posters?  
  
Sora: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!   
  
Selphie: I feel tired  
  
Riku: I feel hungry  
  
Kairi: I feel like humping the couch.  
  
Couch: ^____^  
  
All: ::back away from the couch::  
  
Barney: ::voice comes out of the seaside shack speaker phone:: Hunny Bunch...are you there?   
  
All: O_____________O  
  
Barney: Sweetie Pie?  
  
Sora: ::imitates a woman's voice:: ~Yes?~  
  
Barney: Hello sexay! you available tonight?  
  
Sora: ~um, sure~  
  
Barney: Meet me at the Ocean View Hotel. I'll bring the blueberry muffins and Cool-aid juice!  
  
Sora: ~OK!~ ::bursts out of laughter::  
  
Barney: Sora? is that you?  
  
All: ::bursts out of laughter::  
  
Barney: NOW I AM MAD! ::comes out of the speaker box:: REDRUM! REDRUM! REDRUM!  
  
All: ::gulp::  
  
Random annoying person who can't spell (noob): OMG!!! LOLLZZZ!!1! DATS SO FUNNI!!1!!1 ROFFLL!!!!112!!1  
  
Barney: ::eats the noob::  
  
Noob: OMG!!12! ITS SO DARK IN HERRE!21!!! AND DA WATER KINDA BURNS IN HERE!!!! OMG!!!! MY LEG IZ BURNIN!!!!112!! ITS MELTIN!!!! LOLZZZ!!!  
  
Kairi: ::shoves a whole coconut in Barney's mouth::   
  
Barney: ::is twitching on the floor::  
  
Tidus: Is he choking or what?  
  
Kairi: I dunno! he's purple already which makes it a whole lot harder.  
  
All: ::backs away and runs out of the shack::  
  
Noob: COOLZZ!!! A COCONUTZ!!!   
  
============================== The next morning, in the secret base =========================  
  
Speaker Box: Good morning kids!..he...he...he  
  
Sora: Who the hell are you?  
  
Speaker Box: Well, since you dudes choked him, he's in the hospital right now, like, totally! I'm the Dell guy!  
  
::Chip chirp::  
  
Dell guy: Anyways, Barney told me about you dudes getting into the T.V.! That is so rad! And dudes, what is up with your computers? Gateway? PALEEEZ, you guys should get a Dell ok!  
  
::chirp chirp::  
  
All: O___________________________________________O  
  
After three hours of uncomfortable silence, they all decided to go into the T.V. and kick some Tubbie butt ::Shoots myself because it sounded extrememly cheesy::  
  
============================ Meanwhile, in a Random Kid's house =============================  
  
Kid: MOMMY! MOMMY! THERE'S A GIRL WITH SCARY HAIR CHOKING PO! THERE'S TWO KIDS BANGING TOY SWORDS ON LALAS HEAD! THERE'S A GIRL WITH A VERY BIG FOREHEAD SHOVING A COCONUT ON DIPSY'S MOUTH AND THERE'S A KID BANGING HIS BALL ON TINKY-WINKY!!!  
  
Mom: That sounded extremely wrong! TIMEOUT FOR YOU YOUNG MAN! FACE THE WALL!  
  
Kid: And the bunnies are doing funny things to each other ^____________^  
  
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Riku: ::is singing in his room in front of an Aerith poster::   
  
I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME!   
  
LET'S GET A ROOM AND GET DIRTY!   
  
I AM VERY BENDY AND I GOT MOVES YOU'LL NEVER SEE!   
  
IT'LL MAKE YOU AND ME HAPPY! ^____________________________^  
  
Unfortunately, Cloud was walking by because he came to the islands for a visit. ^___^  
  
Episode 3 coming up! 


End file.
